A journey on my own looking to create a better life

Carlie Jade Start Date: Aug 15, 2022 - End Date: Aug 14, 2023
  • Colorado, United States of America

My Travel Story

by: Carlie Jade Start Date: Aug 15, 2022 - End Date: Aug 14, 2023
I was sitting on my bed staring at the wall when it all hit me. I feel nothing.
I had no emotion; sad, hopeful, excited, terrified... Nothing. I was trying to think of one thing that made me happy or excited. I started remembering things that used to make me look forward to getting up in the morning and ideas that used to spark my interest.. Except I didn't feel that same way about those things anymore.
Art of all kinds is one of my favorite things. Everyday I couldn't wait to plan out my next project, or sketch out something I wanted to paint. Ideas for creating anything and everything continuously running through my head. I sat there and reminisced about the person I was who I loved so much and how I couldn't believe I let myself become this person who wasn't me; this person I don't even know.
Then I finally felt something. I don't know what I felt but I just knew I had to make a big change or I may lose the real me forever.

The next day I got in my car and started driving. I didn't know where I was going but i didn't hesitate to keep moving. I left my boyfriend at home and all I had was what was in my car and my last paycheck. This was so completely out of my character and that's how I know it had to be done. 

I know this is the beginning of a long journey but I know I can do it. I've made it from Missouri to Colorado. I haven't lived alone.. ever, actually. It's scary but the good part is I actually feel scared. I just take one day at a time and make sure to treat every person I come in contact with the same way I would want to be treated.

At this point I do have a plan. I've been sleeping in my car and I'm really trying to take a break from doing that. I found a job that will cover lodging expenses. And I am so beyond grateful for that.

As I sit here in my car that's below empty without a dime to my name I unfortunately realized I might have to ask for help now. 
The job is 2 hours away, the 2 tires on the passengers side of my car have wires showing, i am so thirsty and really need a shower.

I have done anything I could do for myself to be able to get by. Door dash, reselling, delivery gig apps, endless surveys and short term merchandising gigs. 

Once I can make it to my job and start working I will have a paycheck in 3 weeks. 
I really just need help to get to that point. This situation is so unfamiliar to me and I've ran out of ideas but I'm trying to hard not to run out of hope.

Any help from any body would mean so much to me. I feel so alone and knowing someone out there cares what happens to me would make my heart feel so full and give me that extra  motivation and positivity that I need right now. I can't wait to pay forward whatever help I may recieve when I'm in a better place to hopefully help someone who really truly needs it.
  • Colorado, United States of America

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